15 people reveal if time apart made their relationship stronger & it's eye opening

                                                                              <img alt="15 people reveal if time apart made their relationship stronger & it" src="https://alexis.lindaikejisblog.com/photos/shares/5b1d6d615a8e9.jpg" /><br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Can time apart actually make your relationship stronger? People in relationships sometimes wonder what it will be like to take a break. You don't want to lose your partner but you also wish you could pause the relationship, take a little time apart, then come back together later on.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A Redditor whose partner was asking to take a break reached out to the online community for advice and some people who have taken some time out from their relationships offered some opinions that are quite surprising.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Below are the things they had to say as compiled by Elite Daily:<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">A break can help you realize how much you appreciate your partner.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> I broke up with my boyfriend because I didn't think that it was working. Turns out I missed him more than words could ever describe and we got right back together. Only made us stronger.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/mannequinsmile<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <br /></div> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> My husband and I took a break for 7 months. It was helpful in some ways and damaging in others... in the end we both missed our life together and decided to be back together and we are still together. I can say, I wish I would have never taken the break... there were things that we both did while apart that was damaging to our relationship now. But on the other hand... what if we didn't take a break? Maybe we would have never started to appreciate eachother again...<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/4m4nda24<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> We took a break and after seven months we got back together and now we are engaged. We took a break because I was overwhelmed with the idea of a LDR. We got back together and it made us stronger than ever. In those 7 months, neither of us even thought about getting with other people.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/CinnamonBunBun<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> We were fighting all day, everyday, when finally one of those arguments ended in legitimately breaking up. We were just relieved by the time it happened, I think we both knew it was going to happen eventually. What I wasn't expecting was how much I would miss him. I really thought it was what I wanted until it actually happened. He didn't just take me back though. I had to work hard to get him back and we are better for it. I respected that he wasn't going to be a doormat and it wasn't going to be a broken record make up/break up relationship. It was the best thing that ever happened to us. That was 6 years ago, we've since married and have a wonderful son and a truly wonderful marriage. He's the best thing that ever happened to me!<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/foreverafalljoke<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Me and my SO had a 6 to 7 month break where we saw other people. We both agree it was the best thing that happened to us, because after a 2 year relationship with its ups and downs, now we have more ups than ever and it did a lot of good for us. I realized I'll never find anyone better than him and he realized how easily he could lose me. It was the slap on the behind we needed.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/PetiteTrumpetButt<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> I took a three month break when I was deployed because I hated the idea of a long distance relationship. Actually, it wasn't a break, I broke up with him. Thought about him the whole deployment and despite several opportunities to hook up with other guys did nothing because I was still in love with him. Got back together the day I returned and we've been happily married for twelve wonderful years.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/Call_me_Kelly<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> In the long run, yes. My SO wasn't ready to commit for long term without exploring his "bachelor" side. We were apart for 2 months, and he asked for me back after going on some dates and realizing I was the sh**. Yes I trust he didn't do anything else, and even if he had, that was part of the understanding. There was never an obligation to resume the relationship, but we agreed its what we both wanted. Now we're great, and he's never wavered since (~2 years later)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />– u/lancetfemale<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> My then boyfriend and I took a four month break about a year and a half into our relationship. I had broken up with him because I was feeling like I was suffocating. He agreed he knew it was coming, but had assumed he'd be the one to do it. Not long into the breakup, we started talking a lot again and began mentioning that it all felt more like a break than a break up. We maintained contact while we both dated and had sex with others. Neither of us had dated much before, so we each learned a lot about ourselves... And realized all we wanted was one another. Four months after breaking up, he asked me to get back together with him. Fun fact, he asked me only moments after we conceived our now 1.5 year old daughter. The break taught us a ton and really helped us learn to appreciate one another. We're now married and so so happy together!<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/GrowingASeahorse<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">It can also help you realize you’re not with the right person.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> It helped me realize I didn't want to be with him.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/pistachio-pie<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> A break during a previous relationship helped me tremendously...it allowed me to realize that I wasn't happy in the relationship at all, but was rather just afraid of being alone. The month we were apart gave me a chance to realize what kind of relationship I actually deserved, and now I am with a new boyfriend who is indescribably amazing (:<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/xxChelidonis04<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> I thought it did for awhile, but after a phone call breakup a few months later, (come on we aren't 13) I realized that the initial break should've just stayed a breakup. We were both in pretty bad places in our lives during our entire relationship (on break or together) and it ended for the better. For some, it does work. But I know that if a significant other ever tells me "Let's take a break" I will just break it off then.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/hisusernameistaken<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Some folks just are looking for a cheating loophole.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> We actually didn't decide on a break, we just broke up but kept in touch. We both missed each other horribly and both worked on the stuff that ended things in the first place, got together again and we've been happy since. But yeah 90% of the time, a break dooms the relationship, because it usually means that the person who wants the break wants to f*** someone else without letting the safe person go, while not being wrecked with the guilt that comes with cheating.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/DarthMelonLord<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> It helps the person wanting the break to cheat with whoever they've had their eye on without the bother of actually breaking up with their current SO and without the guilt of cheating.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/Overlord1317<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">So, there are definitely risks to consider.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> <blockquote style="background-color: white; border-left: 5px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.5px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px 20px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> I know a married couple who took several breaks and say the same thing about it. Anger can make people do really stupid things. They've been happily married a long time, but are still saddled with some long term consequences they'd rather have avoided. STI putting wife at risk of cervical cancer. She's carefully monitored since she's had pre-cancerous lesions. Husband claims responsibility and regrets his recklessness. Their breaks were usually taken with some level of anger, but the distance usually helped them find clarity.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />— u/must_find_truth<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> </div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Ultimately, the decision on whether or not to take a break in your relationship really depends on the reasons and the intention. But the real takeaway here is that it doesn’t automatically mean something catastrophic about the relationship. Breaks can be really clarifying if you’re in a situation where you’re unsure about your partner. So if that’s something you feel like you need, that's OK. In the end, it may even make your bond stronger.</div>

15 people reveal if time apart made their relationship stronger & it's eye opening

                                                                               Can time apart actually make your relationship stronger? Pe...

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Parenting expert shares the secret to raising unentitled children

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyphenhyphenfV4iYHl833TEYuhQg0PBa9Tp2tczEOzsNqTMuLPz5uP8feNcG-NCwjb7NoXQrKnTQXB5eA09uQMNSMbF5MDE_SISeCyLn20QUwF_qfA_1LF8IP9_LI3yuTpptk7DYDX1whMEL-cMOnn/s1600/5b1d2b56e84a0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="309" data-original-width="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyphenhyphenfV4iYHl833TEYuhQg0PBa9Tp2tczEOzsNqTMuLPz5uP8feNcG-NCwjb7NoXQrKnTQXB5eA09uQMNSMbF5MDE_SISeCyLn20QUwF_qfA_1LF8IP9_LI3yuTpptk7DYDX1whMEL-cMOnn/s1600/5b1d2b56e84a0.jpg" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Parenting expert Kate Orson is advising parents on actions they can take to raise unentitled children.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />In an interview by Camilla Palmer published on The Guardian, Kate Orson listed some points that can be of help to parents.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />See them below.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Beware prioritising material possessions over time spent with your child.</strong> Childrenare like sponges and will soak up what’s around them, so your actions are important. If you want – and get – stuff all the time, they will expect that, too. Spend time with them, listen to them, talk to them. Help your child feel secure.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Understand that there’s a difference between wanting and needing</strong>. What your child needs most is a connection with you. They need that far more than the latest gizmo they say they want. It’s up to you to gently show them that. Children are not born entitled or spoilt. If they are, there’s often a lack of emotional connection with the important people in their lives.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Parenting styles have changed for the better.</strong> We’re less authoritarian and want to respect our children, but that doesn’t mean they should get everything they want. Saying no to your child is not a bad thing; neither is them crying because you’ve said it. Don’t get angry because they’re showing emotion – listen to their outburst. Cuddling and chatting at those times helps release the sense of entitlement. You’ll help them understand that it’s not all about them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: center;"> <img alt="Parenting expert shares the secret to raising unentitled children" class="img-responsive text-center" src="https://alexis.lindaikejisblog.com/photos/shares/5b1d2c19c9c43.jpeg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: block; height: auto; margin: auto; max-width: 100%; vertical-align: middle;" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">The word ‘entitled’ gets a bad press</strong>. It’s great that our children want the best for themselves, and have high expectations of their lives.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Your older children and teenagers still need you.</strong> Find out the best times for spending time with them: when are they receptive to you, and to making a connection? Let them know that they’re important. If they’re secure and are nurtured, they’ll be compassionate towards others.</div>

Parenting expert shares the secret to raising unentitled children

Parenting expert Kate Orson is advising parents on actions they can take to raise unentitled children. In an interview by Camilla Palmer ...

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Building Self Esteem

<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", trebuchet, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 24.48px;">Building Self Esteem</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", trebuchet, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 24.48px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", trebuchet, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 24.48px;"><br /></span> <div> <div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #666666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekwqFWOC13qnWsQfyFvIwnJaM6pFS3ThRO4TVggEj6y02CHVz8RFFdaxYaFCHAhCG9OlFulpaB8l3Ff_RLuQpSnVCZ03W8qTMJOILpX5SZVsREoHcQ7DGccPM5JZxSsydKpXsdec57amS/s1600/th.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #888888; text-decoration-line: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="347" data-original-width="352" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekwqFWOC13qnWsQfyFvIwnJaM6pFS3ThRO4TVggEj6y02CHVz8RFFdaxYaFCHAhCG9OlFulpaB8l3Ff_RLuQpSnVCZ03W8qTMJOILpX5SZVsREoHcQ7DGccPM5JZxSsydKpXsdec57amS/s280/th.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 1px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1) 1px 1px 5px; box-sizing: border-box; max-width: 100%; padding: 5px; position: relative;" width="280" /></a></div> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">Building self esteem is something that, if done successfully, can change your life. Being able to accept yourself, to have confidence in yourself, and to know that you are good enough can take you a lot further in life compared to thinking that you’re worthless and that no one likes you or accepts you. In this article, I will talk about where having low self-esteem comes from and what you can do to help build it back up.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">If you want to build self esteem, the first thing you need to understand is how it got so low in the first place. Understand that much of how you see yourself was formed from a very young age. For most people, having low self esteem has to do with their parents. To be more exact, it had to do with your misinterpretation of what you experienced or what you were told as a child.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">One of the most common beliefs that people with low self esteem have is the belief that they are not good enough. No matter how hard they try or how well they do, they will feel like it just wasn’t enough. This is most likely caused by having parents who said things that made you believe you weren’t good enough. They may have communicated this verbally or through their body language. Either way, the message you received was that you were not good enough.</span><br /> <br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif;" /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">It doesn’t stop in your childhood though. Because you developed this false belief, you went through life looking at the world with this false perception of yourself. It’s like walking around with a pair shades with yellow lenses. Everything you see, hear, or experience is perceived through those yellow lenses. In other words, the reality that you have experienced has been tainted by the beliefs that were instilled in you at a young age. Someone can compliment you on a job well done but through your eyes, you’re still not worthy and may even believe that person is being insincere even though they are not.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">Think back to when you were young and try to remember an incident where your parents or some other authority figure told you something negative like you’ll never amount to anything. Notice how that feels. Now think back on that incident or incidents again but only this time, see it as a third person watching the event take place.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">If you could talk to that child version of you, what would you say? Is it possible that your parents just said those things because they thought it would motivate you to do more? Is it possible that their opinions about you as a child have nothing to do with you as an adult? Do you think your parents have special powers that enable them to predict a person’s future? Do you believe that people can change?</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">What do these questions have to do with self esteem and confidence? If you can understand that it’s possible that you may have misinterpreted what your parents said or at least decipher their true intentions incorrectly, then you will realize that you have been walking around with a false sense of low self esteem all of these years. When you don’t think highly of yourself, when you believe that you aren’t good enough or important enough, your mind will search for evidence to make it true.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">There are tons of ways to build self esteem but one of the most powerful ways is what I just described. It is to simply recognize the fact that you have been looking at the world through a lens that only focused on things that reinforced your false belief that you aren’t good enough. After all, your mind doesn’t want to make you a liar. If you believe you are worthless, your mind will prove that you are by warping reality to make you see things that will back that belief up.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">If you are unfamiliar with how beliefs and perception works, that’s okay. The good news is that the reverse is true as well. If you believe that you are good enough, that you are a likeable person, that you are meant to do great things in life, your mind will create a new lens and focus on things that will back up that belief. There is no “reality”. Reality is what your mind perceives it to be.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">So to summarize, realize that the cause of your low self esteem started when you were a child, before you knew how to use logic to determine what was true and what was false. This is why there is a lot of self esteem building in children programs. That’s where it all starts.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">Realize that all of the so called “evidence” that you have seen up until this point of your life that “proves” you aren’t good enough or people don’t like you or you’re not important was a distortion of reality caused by your belief that you are worthless. Now that you know better, use your logic and common sense and go back into your childhood memories, to those times when you were told that you were a piece of crap, and challenge those statements. If parents can predict the future based on the past, they would all be filthy rich by investing in the stock market.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px;">You are much more than who you think you are. Besides, now that you know you have been wrong in thinking that you aren’t good enough, you can begin to take charge of your life. Building your self esteem comes down to understanding that you can control your beliefs. The belief in who you are and what you are capable of achieving in life is up to you to decide, not your parents. Now that you know this, make sure you say the right things to your kids if you have any. It will have a major affect on their life.</span></div>

Building Self Esteem

Building Self Esteem Building self esteem is something that, if done successfully, can change your life. Being able to accept yourself...

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"Pursue your Aspirations”, FCMB inspires customers in a new Thematic Campaign

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKnijLUlf_zo6wG7WjGSAy-hM8-Qv45aOJs6C_W2AruUQhVx4O7ihkS5OQhZ4UUNfEmAc7s_3z37nOBcHSCcEIB8mc1oak-F_c0WsppJDB-ytltKRTuRyoX6gn78UZS_s4y0p3iX5uKhE8/s1600/5b06f851d1708.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="683" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKnijLUlf_zo6wG7WjGSAy-hM8-Qv45aOJs6C_W2AruUQhVx4O7ihkS5OQhZ4UUNfEmAc7s_3z37nOBcHSCcEIB8mc1oak-F_c0WsppJDB-ytltKRTuRyoX6gn78UZS_s4y0p3iX5uKhE8/s320/5b06f851d1708.jpg" width="213" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> First City Monument Bank (FCMB) recently took another bold step to deepen its history of excellence and consolidate its position as one of the foremost financial institutions in Nigeria. The latest milestone came in the form of a new thematic campaign titled, ‘’Feel Confident, Pursue your Aspirations’’. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The campaign, which showcases the warm, friendly, approachable, inspiring and energetic brand identity of FCMB and its values as a simple, reliable and helpful Bank, is being communicated in print, television and radio outlets and also on social media, just as it continues to make raves as one of the most outstanding in recent times in the country.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The ‘’Feel Confident, Pursue your Aspirations’’ message tells compelling stories of the lives and business aspirations of diverse Nigerians and how FCMB supports them to bring such dreams and aspirations to reality. It also tells the story of the very diverse base of the customers that FCMB serves, its commitment to creating opportunities, adding more value and enhancing the overall customer experience of its clientele. This is aimed at further connecting with them to sustain their loyalty and patronage.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Indeed, the commercials of the new thematic campaign across media platforms clearly demonstrate the commitment of FCMB and its readiness to help existing and potential customers confidently translate their dreams, aspirations, ideas and business plans into real practical, measurable and successful ones.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />In addition, the thematic campaign sends a clear message of conviction to all segments of people in the society who have any form of credible personal or corporate business idea, intention or plan, but have not been able to turn them into reality, that FCMB is ready to make them live their dreams. Credence is added by the fact the Bank parades a team of experts in financial management, macro and micro financing, business design, development, growth and sustainability, among others. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Part of the proposition of the campaign goes thus: “You have got plans, let’s make them happen. At FCMB, we share your aspirations. Let us help you fulfil them with our specialised range of banking products and services. You have got an idea, let’s grow a business. Managing a business does not have to be a burden you bear alone. Get SME advisory support today. We power over 300,000 registered businesses with our array of business banking solutions. Take advantage of these solutions designed to support your business”. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The over 35 years old financial institution, which was recently awarded the prestigious International Organisation for Standardisation (ISO) 9001:2015 certificate for Quality Management System by the Standards Organisation of Nigeria, is making this possible through its all-inclusive bucket of flexible products and services, structured to satisfy all banking needs of all segments of the society. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Commenting on the FCMB ‘’Feel Confident, Pursue your Aspirations’’ thematic campaign, the Managing Director of the Bank, Mr. Adam Nuru, said, “it tells the story of the diverse base of the customers that we serve at FCMB. It does not matter where you are, we support you to fulfill your life and business aspirations at FCMB. Our convenient electronic banking platforms and best-in-class relationship management model deliver great experience to our customers as we support them to achieve their great dreams for themselves, their families and their businesses”.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />He reiterated that, ‘’Nigerians are aspirational and hard-working people. FCMB is the bank for all Nigerians, walking with them as partners to fulfil their life and business aspirations in the true spirit of its brand pay-off line; “FCMB- My Bank and I”.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> In the same vein, the Group Head, Corporate Affairs of FCMB, Mr. Diran Olojo, explained that, “it is a tactical reaction to our Bank’s periodic brand health checks. This is aimed at regularly feeling the pulse of our stakeholders in our continuous drive to satisfy them and sustainably achieve excellent customer experience, qualities FCMB has come to be associated with, over the years”.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> In the same vein, the Managing Director of the Bank said that as one of the few Banks that consistently feature in the top 5 categories, across all segments, in the KPMG annual customer satisfaction survey, analysts are of the opinion the lender is on a stronger pedestal to deliver the very best in products and services.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> FCMB provides one of the best alternate channels banking services cutting across ATMs, mobile banking, Point-of-Sale (PoS) and internet banking. The Bank is among the first to deliver on-the-spot ATM cards, including Visa card and Mastercard, issuance in Nigeria. Last year, the Bank deployed an additional 5,000 PoS machines nationwide to bring the number to 14,000. It also launched a new Small and Medium Scale Enterprises (SMEs) mobile app to enhance alternate channels adoption among customers in the business segment.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> FCMB’s self-service, stress-free and secured solution, (*329# USSD code), has equally continued to delight the public. Through this platform, customers carry-out various financial transactions, using their mobile phones. These include funds transfer, account opening, micro loans and top-up, account balance enquiry, airtime and data purchase, bills payment, among other value-added services, on the go and without any hurdles.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The Bank explained that the *329# mobile banking solution forms part of its core strategy to expand its service channels by promoting and deepening the Central Bank of Nigeria’s cashless and financial inclusion policies. The development eliminates delays periodically experienced by physically visiting a branch of the Bank or outlet to carry-out transactions. In addition, the initiative will reinforce the lender’s commitment to environmental sustainability, geared towards reducing the quantity of paper and other materials usage in the society of which printing of various banking documents forms a substantial part of the process.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> A major component of FCMB’s sustainability principle is on agriculture and empowering farmers with a view to increasing their productivity potential as part of its financial intermediation role for national development. This is reflected in the bank’s intervention that has resulted in better access to financial resources by deserving individuals, organisations and companies. It has also led to improved processes, better output and profitability. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> In the Small and Medium Scale Enterprises space, FCMB has continued to prove its mettle. It has developed number of cutting-edge products and services that have endeared it to Businesses. Some of these offerings include, the e-invoicing platform – a unique solution, designed to help businesses monitor and control their cash management, especially as it affects payments, receivables, reconciliation and other financial transactions, through the internet and other mobile channels among others.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /> <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />In addition, the Bank offers free banking transactions for a period of three months for new-to-FCMB SME customers. In line with the Bank’s drive to partner with value content from the Fintech space, it has collaborated with Paystack to provide an innovative online collection platform for merchants and other businesses focused on enabling them to provide their customers with a seamless payment experience. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Beyond this, FCMB regularly organizes training and other capacity building programmes for SMEs to keep them up to speed with skills that would further grow their businesses, while also providing funding. Without doubt, the new thematic campaign of FCMB and other giant strides being recorded by the Bank, show that it is on a journey to greater heights.</div>

"Pursue your Aspirations”, FCMB inspires customers in a new Thematic Campaign

First City Monument Bank (FCMB) recently took another bold step to deepen its history of excellence and consolidate its position as one o...

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Three Nigerian writers make 2018 Caine Prize shortlist

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIIiv0RG3CyXwKgADmRI7nD1eV_ENPGH4OmdgW_zEzZpX4ANdoNJxPgw4e5bQOI4x9RZJ1O7UAEq49ph3h0GV_mn12OpF2rmroS9y9MIJfsYV1MSyzA-oKaEViRulLTE4PGgg4b9W4dqGO/s1600/5afae59cc8439+%25281%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="610" data-original-width="539" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIIiv0RG3CyXwKgADmRI7nD1eV_ENPGH4OmdgW_zEzZpX4ANdoNJxPgw4e5bQOI4x9RZJ1O7UAEq49ph3h0GV_mn12OpF2rmroS9y9MIJfsYV1MSyzA-oKaEViRulLTE4PGgg4b9W4dqGO/s320/5afae59cc8439+%25281%2529.JPG" width="282" /></a></div> <div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Three Nigerians have been shortlisted for the 2018 Caine Prize for African Writing. The shortlist announced today, showcases a diversity of themes and a wealth of literary talent.</div> <div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The five-writer shortlist was unveiled by this year’s Chair of judges, award-winning Ethiopian-American author, Dinaw Mengestu.</div> <div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The shortlisted writers for the 2018 Caine Prize are:</div> <div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Nonyelum Ekwempu (Nigeria) for ‘American Dream’, published in <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Red Rock Review</em> (2016) and republished in <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">The Anthem</em>(2016).Read ‘American Dream’Stacy Hardy (South Africa) for ‘Involution’, published in<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Migrations: New Short Fiction from Africa</em>, by New Internationalist (2017).Read ‘Involution’Olufunke Ogundimu (Nigeria) for ‘The Armed Letter Writers’, published in <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">The African Literary Hustle</em> (2017).Read ‘The Armed Letter Writers’Makena Onjerika (Kenya) for ‘Fanta Blackcurrant’, published in<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Wasafiri</em> (2017).Read ‘Fanta Blackcurrant’Wole Talabi (Nigeria) for ‘Wednesday’s Story’, published in<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Lightspeed Magazine</em> (2016).Read ‘Wednesday’s Story’</div> <div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The winner of the £10,000 prize will be announced at an award ceremony and dinner in the Beveridge Hall at Senate House, SOAS, on Monday 2 July 2018 – in partnership with the Centre for African Studies. Each shortlisted writer will also receive £500.</div> <div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The shortlisted stories will be published in June in New Internationalist’s 2018 Caine Prize anthology, <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Redemption Song</em>, and through co-publishers in 16 African countries who receive a print-ready PDF free of charge.</div>

Three Nigerian writers make 2018 Caine Prize shortlist

Three Nigerians have been shortlisted for the 2018 Caine Prize for African Writing. The shortlist announced today, showcases a diversity ...

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Adenuga At 65: Why The Gold Digger Remains The Real Mccoy

<h1 class=" xt-post-title" itemprop="headline" style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #181818; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 3.75rem; font-weight: 400; line-height: 4rem; margin: 0rem 0px 20px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; text-transform: capitalize; width: 340px;"> Adenuga At 65: Why The Gold Digger Remains The Real Mccoy</h1> <div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEixfGlG_RJdMomuVfrFLiaFhoxY6rUn5jvpsGG02b1XAa8VWv6F3CK8zKsHbVJHKocCmv2X2lvfwWI9pQLm9cTxSuILvfKrz9huBNbttn8TcUZvlIGTWxB58alq5NLGISospA0UQkDqk/s1600/Michael-Adenuga.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="286" data-original-width="510" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEixfGlG_RJdMomuVfrFLiaFhoxY6rUn5jvpsGG02b1XAa8VWv6F3CK8zKsHbVJHKocCmv2X2lvfwWI9pQLm9cTxSuILvfKrz9huBNbttn8TcUZvlIGTWxB58alq5NLGISospA0UQkDqk/s320/Michael-Adenuga.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /></div> <div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> office while I was sobbing. Alarmed, having never seen me in that condition, she asked, “Oga, ki lo se yin” (Boss, what’s the matter?).  The seemingly harmless question triggered even a bigger meltdown. As I attempted to answer her, I burst into a ball of tears and sobbed like a baby. Scared, she dashed out and within what seemed like seconds, my office was bursting at the seams with my colleagues. I hated to be seen in that circumstance but I couldn’t help it. I was an emotional wreck. They consoled me and insisted I must leave the office immediately.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> They arranged for a driver to take me home, insisting I could not drive in that situation. As the driver pulled up in my house about 30 minutes later, my phone rang and it was my Chairman, Dr. Mike Adenuga Jr on the line. I picked the call with a stoic resolve never to give any inclination of the tragedy that just befell me. “Ah. Bode, pele, pele (sorry, sorry, referrencing my loss). What happened? Was he sick? How old was he?, he asked several questions in quick succession. As I answered him, what was racing through my mind was how did he hear about it so swiftly? I remembered him saying sometime in the past that, “the walls have ears. You cannot be in my position and be oblivious of developments around you”. Quite instructive! He assured me he would stand by me all the way and asked me to let him know when the burial arrangement had been firmed up.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> Until we did the burial a month later, Dr. Adenuga, who I fondly called Baba, kept a close tab on the arrangements we were making. He shocked me when he said repeatedly even at official meetings that he would attend the event. Though he eventually did not, he supported me morally and financially. After the event, he asked me to give him the list of all those who supported me financially so that he could say thank you to them. I did not bother him with that but his gesture spoke volume about the genuine heart of a man many had come to love, loathe or dread.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> That was not the first time Dr. Adenuga would go beyond the call of duty to show unfeigned care for either my humble self or numerous other people working for him. In another personal instance, he had asked the trio of Yinka Akande, Celestine Amucha and my humble self to represent him at the commissioning of House of Ovation, Accra in October 2006 as a reciprocal and appreciative gesture to the Ovation Publisher, Bashorun Dele Momodu for his steadfast loyalty over the years.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> Unfortunately, we could not get a flight to Accra as all the flights were fully booked. We decided to go by road. Somehow, Chairman, who Dele Momodu incidentally calls the Spirit of Africa, got wind of our plan. He could not believe that young executives in this era could voluntarily opt to go through such an arduous journey in order to fulfill their boss’ mandate. Right from when we got to Mile 2 to board a public transport till we got to Accra, Dr Adenuga was checking up on us at regular intervals. As if he had a crystal ball through which he was gazing at us (I knew it couldn’t have been any tracking device because back then, Mr. Chairman at best enjoyed using his legendary Nokia Communicator for only calls and text messages until in later years when he added internet browsing), he was calling either by the time we were just reaching or leaving a border point. “You should be at Seme now”, “How is the journey going, are you at Ilaconji now?”, “Are you in Aflao now?”, he kept checking up on us till we got to Accra safely when he finally heaved a sigh of relief and said, “Thank God”.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> How many bosses would send their staff on assignments and keep checking up on them to find out about their safety and welfare? One of his closest aides then, Prince Tunde Akinyera said Chairman was not at ease until he knew we had reached Accra. He knew the route very well, having traversed it severally when he was building his business empire, crisscrossing from Nigeria to Cote d’Ivoire, the headquarters of African Development Bank. Corroborating that, Chairman would share stories of his experience in those days at each of the borders. The most poignant was when he missed the closing time at the Lome-Ghana border on his way back to Lagos by a few minutes. The gendarmes snubbed all his earnest entreaties  and he had to pass the night in his car right at the border crossing.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> What made his gesture more significant was that Dr Adenuga himself was going through his personal travails about this time. He was on self exile after ceaseless harrassments by  Nuhu Ribadu’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission who we later heard, had the mandate to nail him at all cost.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> Time after time, Chairman showed that he was not a General who would send his men to the war front and go to sleep. I ran several errands locally and internationally for him. More than fifty percent of the time, he would call to find out about one’s welfare and the trip. “Awe o”, he would utter in his rich baritone voice even at 5.30am. “Did you make it to the airport in good time? Safe flight and good luck”, he would say as his signature way of giving one moral support.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> Dr. Adenuga treated me more like his son than an employee. When I wanted to leave Globacom last year to run a family business, Chairman was displeased. Somehow, he felt I would stay with the business longer. However, having spent 14 years supporting in my own little way our much appreciated Chairman’s vision, I pleaded to be excused. Chairman took it harder than I envisaged. Since I made my intention known in April last year until I left in July of the same year, all channels of communication came to a near screeching halt. Knowing that I was not doing anything deliberately to hurt Baba or his business, I stuck to my plan. A few days before my departure from the system, he gave a directive that I should lead a delegation on an international assignment. I carried out the assignment diligently but left as scheduled afterwards.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> Almost one year later, Dr Adenuga reached out to me and said the unthinkable. One of Africa’s richest men apologized for the way the system took my decision to leave. He painted my modest contributions glowingly and asked me to return if I wished. I deeply expressed my gratitude to him for his support over the years.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> He is the quintessential leader with an unimaginable capacity to ride above the storm of the past and reset his relationships with people when he felt the need to do so. Severally, he has recalled or reabsorbed former members of staff who left in the most dramatic circumstances. Some came back voluntarily while he himself reached out to others. For him, it is not about the sentiment but the value the individual has to offer. Yet, there were exceptional instances when he reabsorbed people mainly because he pitied their prevailing circumstances. He epitomizes the deep Yoruba axiom that, “ti a o ba gbagbe oro ana, a o ni ri eni ba sere”, meaning that one needs to banish past disputes into distant memories in order to continually have people to play (or work) with.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> A couple of years back, Dr. Adenuga shared with me the rationale behind some of his actions. He said at the end of the day when everyone would have retired to their respective homes, he would play back the events of the day in his mind and ask himself hard questions, “Am I fair to him/her? Was he/she fair to me?” He said this was a routine he regularly observed in order to set matters right.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> Whoever knows Dr. Adenuga would readily concur that he is a genius who has a memory as sharp as a tack. He only needs to meet you once and if he sees you years later, he would recall every detail about you. When he uploads you with various assignments, you would only have yourself to blame to think he has forgotten any of them. Don’t be shocked if you get a call from his office asking you for an update. That alone is triple-filtered trouble. Chairman wants you to be ahead of him. He will spare no rod if he is always the one “chasing after you” for results. In one of his informal mentoring classes, Dr. Adenuga told me that, “Never rely exclusively on human memory. No matter how sharp, it fails sometimes. As often as possible, once I’m giving someone an assignment, I’m writing it down and posting it somewhere as a stark reminder until the job is done”.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> In his heart, Adenuga has selected some people as his circle of brothers, friends and family. He has taken it upon himself to sort such people out in life. At intervals, he reaches out and takes care of them in a “life-liberating manner” as a popular writer who later joined politics once described his unconventional generous disposition. In that circle are family members, friends, former Presidents within and outside Nigeria, celebrities, traditional rulers, some members of staff and a mixed grill of other people decided exclusively based on his own parametres. This often includes indigent people or people totally unknown to him but who are in dire straits. From the blues (as he did severally), Chairman once called me to find out how a media personality who had been supportive in the past was doing. When I enquired and reverted to him that the person was going through a rough patch, he got his office to send the person a ‘hefty’ cheque in the hope that it would help the person to “fill some holes”. He sets his  standards high and abides by the standards no matter whose ox is gored. He hardly attends functions. His priorities have always been his business and in later years, he has opted to strike more delicate balance between business and family.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> You will never see Dr. Adenuga confronting government even when he has enough reasons to fight. His philosophy is that Nigerian governments are too powerful. As such, any businessman who has too much at stake can only fight a sitting government at his peril. Intrinsically, he has internalized that profound saying amplified by King Sunny Ade’s song, “Ojo ni wa a o b’enikan s’ota, eni eji ri leji n pa (we are raindrops, we bear no grudge against anyone, rain falls on everyone). He is friendly with any government of the day. Much more importantly, he minds his own business. He also has an almost unimpeachable understanding of the political and business terrains of Africa. He has friends in high places across the continent.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> In business, Chairman adopted the famous Michelle Obama philosophy of when they go low, we go high to his investment in oil and gas. About three years ago, the price of oil headed for a free fall in the international market. Discouraged, many big players stopped investing. Several oil rigs which hitheto were hard to come by became readily available. He wasted no time to strike when the iron was red hot, pumping millions of dollars into the business to develop oil fields allotted his company. The gold digger made the right choice. From the $20s per barrel in 2016, the price of oil is now inching nearer the $80 mark in 2018. Talk about vision, wisdom and pressing the hot button at the right moment.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> For over two and half decades, Dr. Adenuga has been digging gold in oil and gas, telecoms, banking, construction and in the process has become the real McCoy, the real deal. In numerous instances, he has made unimaginable successes while on few occasions, things didn’t go quite as well as planned. A man of immense resources and extensive knowledge, he is also ready to admit that he does not know it all. As an imperfect creation, he knows he is not without blemish. He draws substantially from the lessons of his triumphs and shortcomings to shape his actions. As he marks his 65th birthday, one can only wish Dr. Adenuga many happy returns.</div> <div style="background-color: #fdfdfd; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212121; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, Utkal, sans-serif; font-size: 1.08rem; line-height: 1.575rem; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Opeseitan is the Founding Partner of SA&B Mega Resources.</strong></div> </div>

Adenuga At 65: Why The Gold Digger Remains The Real Mccoy

Adenuga At 65: Why The Gold Digger Remains The Real Mccoy office while I was sobbing. Alarmed, having never seen me in that conditio...

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Positive Thinking Isnt Enough...

<h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 24.48px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; position: relative;"> Positive Thinking Isn’t Enough</h3> <div class="post-header" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em;"> <div class="post-header-line-1"> </div> </div> <div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-113751504761199870" itemprop="articleBody" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 15.84px; line-height: 1.3; position: relative; width: 340px;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXCJNcU9YHGs4hEN2ya6TpClw8VNNOKNh05jvI4cLlGaNUDTSs0SyXeC-3IZAM0qd8HLc0I3xILpfvnGDZNyBYkBgbgQVPlzA2kkzsi1RYwtz3ApSXi2tLefmLuW3APUPomGDLRcAlE8U/s1600/IMG_20180428_172947_006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXCJNcU9YHGs4hEN2ya6TpClw8VNNOKNh05jvI4cLlGaNUDTSs0SyXeC-3IZAM0qd8HLc0I3xILpfvnGDZNyBYkBgbgQVPlzA2kkzsi1RYwtz3ApSXi2tLefmLuW3APUPomGDLRcAlE8U/s320/IMG_20180428_172947_006.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> By Olawumi Peter<br /> <br /> Positive thinking has to do with being able to control your focus regardless of what kind of challenges you are facing. This can be a tough challenge because when all you see is negativity or poor results, it is a lot easier to think negatively and focus on things like why bad things always happen to you or why you can never seem to achieve your goals. This can be a trap that can destroy your life in terms of preventing you from ever realizing your goals and dreams. In this article, I will discuss the importance of being able to think positively and will also offer you some tips on how you can use this to change your life.<br /> The problem that many people have is that thinking positively is easier said than done. When you are in the middle of a challenge, it’s not always easy to look on the bright side of things. So how do you have positive thoughts when there seems to be no evidence that you will achieve your goals or get pass your challenge? Faith. You have to have faith that you will be better off if you believe in yourself and keep fighting for your dreams. It’s not something that everyone can do but it’s something that you can develop.<br /> You can start to create a more positive mindset by reading positive books or listening to a positive CDs every day. One really great book is, “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman V. Peale. By constantly feeding your mind with positive material, you will get used to seeing the brighter side of things. You can also start to hang around positive and encouraging people as well since their attitudes can help change yours. Just thinking positive isn’t enough to change your life though.<br /> The best way is to go beyond positive thinking is to focus on taking action. Get in the habit of taking action even when it’s hard. Let’s say you failed to reach your financial goals. What do you do now? You take action. Do something about it. It’s only when you take action that can you change your situation. Thinking positive is great but sometimes it can be hard to think of the right things but if you take action every time you fail, you will build momentum. The reason why negative thinking will cause you to fail is because it will cause you to not want to do anything.<br /> If you combine a positive mentality and the habit of taking action, you will have a much greater chance of achieving your goals. Will thinking positively all the time guarantee success? Of course not, but if you think negatively all the time, that’s a guarantee that you will fail.</div>

Positive Thinking Isnt Enough...

Positive Thinking Isn’t Enough By Olawumi Peter Positive thinking has to do with being able to control your focus regardless of...

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She Loves Me But I'm not Sure I Do Love Her.

She Loves Me But I'm not Sure I Do Love Her.<br /> <br /> Good morning romancelanders...<br /> <br /> Please you guys should drop your advise without the need to insult me... Thanks<br /> <br /> I've built castles in the sky about love which I've once lived in tho.. tha was 6 years back but after that particular relationship, I've had to manage without the kind of love I truly want.<br /> <br /> Fast forward to two years back, dated this girl whom I did not love but felt too bleeping lonely so I shot my shot n she caught the ball.. Man wasn't happy throughout the duration of the relationship cause what I wanted wasn't there buh it really dawned on me when I eventually fell deeply in love with someone else who was (still is) in a relationship.. It affected me so deep tha I had to break up with my girlfriend last year n since then, man has been alone but still in love someone's babe for almost 7 months now... I think I'm hoping they break up soon sef..<br /> <br /> Here's the real problem, so I met this other Lady who fits into what I desire as a partner mentally but doesn't appeal much to me physically n I don't love her.. I'm sure of that! Not to give myself problem, I didn't ask her out not until yesterday night when our chat led to talk about me being single n babe said I shu comma date her! I shock for few seconds!.. Well, after small talk, she literally made me her out..<br /> <br /> Babe has a good shape n all da stuff but I'm not sure I like her enough to date her n that's because of the kind of love I'm looking for.. The girl I'm currently in love fits into every bit of my dream woman as we share same passion for writing.. This one too writes tho buh I'm confuse on what to do, so guys help the young man out.<br /> <br /> Thanks.<br /> 5 Likes 1 Share<br /> Re: She Loves Me But I'm not Sure I Do Love Her by donstan18(m): 8:04am<br /> You are a very confused man!<br /> <br /> This minute you are loving her mentally, the next minute you are loving another woman physically, the next minute you are loving another woman lalastically. Are you normal atall?<br /> <br /> Your level of lust and confusion is inbuilt and legendary, and the only thing that can make you come back your normal and emotional senses is HIV.<br /> <br /> C'omon will you get out of here!!, I said get out, my friend undecided

She Loves Me But I'm not Sure I Do Love Her.

She Loves Me But I'm not Sure I Do Love Her. Good morning romancelanders... Please you guys should drop your advise without the need...

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Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family.

Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family.<br /> <br /> They say events come at you either as blessings or lessons. My marriage has been half of both. I married from a relatively richer family, and I must add that the fact that my wife came from a wealthy family, had absolutely no influence on my choice. I met her when her parents were not as wealthy as they would later become, and we were in love. At that time, my parents gave me a ‘mid-budget vehicle’ shortly after my graduation from a state University in Nigeria. And so, even though my father was not Dangote, he could afford quality life and education for his children. My wife’s parents over the years ascended in wealth and riches, and our wedding was relatively big. Dowry from her side of Nigeria was expectantly high, and I paid it with relative ease.<br /> <br /> Fast forward to seven years afterwards, when as a man your financial apron-strings to your parents has had to be cut even before leaving your parents’ house, as you make your way for yourself. I have come to learn that these apron-strings are easier to cut for a man than they are for women, especially women from comparatively well to do backgrounds, and hence the troubles for the unwise woman in this situation.<br /> Leaving the comfort of my father’s house in Ibadan, I could afford a mid-income apartment in a sub-urban part of Lagos, with few house gadgets and facilities. My business was doing great, and even though not luxury, our living was comfortable. But then, comfort is subjective, for no matter how much sacrifices I put into stocking my abode with items to ensure comfort for my wife, she and her parents always believed I could do better. They rarely visited, and when they did, would sit in a corner with their noses in the air, and as they leave shortly I would swear they will take a long bath in hand-sanitizers when they got home. Nonetheless, I did do better, and over the years things went on fine at the expense of my personal self-care.<br /> <br /> And then came that family-finance stifling recession. You assure yourself that things would be fine, and all you needed to do was double your hustle. Hustle doubled, and results reduced. Bills increased, and nagging followed suit. I have found out that a woman’s nagging on her husband could either be overt or covert. I’d take the overt nagging any day, over the quiet and obvious discontent. At least with the expressed discontent, you can target your financial attention. No matter how much you try, her communication reduces and you know why. She starts visiting her parents more often, and discussing financial choices with them. They start dropping hints into her bank account. She starts paying some bills and buying ‘luxury food-items’, but you cannot complain, even though you know where the money came from. Yet you double, nay, triple your hustle and hope for better days.<br /> <br /> And that’s when the problems started- A classic case of he who pays the piper. Her parents start giving instructions without consulting you. It starts with suggestions, and then downright directives on how your home should be run. But you are the man of the house and you direct otherwise. Short of them laughing at your effrontery, they are infuriated that you dare overrule their wishes. Who are you? You observe the gradual disappearance of your wife’s respect for you, while you notice that her parents don’t even factor your presence in any equation. You are vilified, and your wife is torn between obeying her parents’ wishes and abiding by your directives.<br /> <br /> I give you an example. This here school is where my children will go, because that’s what I can afford and they are happy in this school, you say. And the response through her, of course because they don’t call you directly but speak to your wife. They say, ‘what? That school? Okay, find a better school in your neighbourhood and let us know how much it costs.’ You get to know about this when your wife starts hunting for a new (expensive) school. I can’t afford that for the two of them, you say. ‘Don’t worry,’ she responds. ‘Mummy said she will pay for it.’ Now, domestic violence is a big matter to the state government and the news is rife with men sent to jail for wife battery. Otherwise, you would have sent those series of slaps in quick succession, enough to wipe her make-up clean off and change her phone network. Besides, if you had done that, her parents would be glad to take her back in their huge mansion, while you battle for your children’s custody or even access to them. Since you can’t react, you swallow your anger and put your foot down, albeit tenderly.<br /> <br /> But things did change for the better part of 2017, far better than before, and during the festive season you conveniently sent bags of rice and vegetable oil to them. Occasionally, you send recharge cards and cash, no matter how small to them, while maintaining your physical absence. You can now restrict your wife’s visit to them. I must add, that the respect has grown tremendously, and hilariously too. Now they call for permission before they send her on errands. Now their calls always go unanswered because I am busy, and they graciously understand, and just wanted to check up on you.<br /> <br /> Lessons: In family relationships, money is important. Your love is noticed when supported with money. Maintain your respect with strategic absence. Money used strategically buys your wife's (and in-laws) respect. Teach your wife to always reveal lesser information than necessary; the less you reveal to people (in-laws) about what goes on internally, the better, and more respect both of you get. There can only be one captain in a ship, and as a husband you need to put your foot down, sometimes diplomatically. Your ships must sail in one direction, and orders are from only one captain. As much as possible, reduce or eliminate holes in your matrimonial walls, to prevent matrimonial lizards from creeping in. No matter what you are going through, you will go through it. I knew that that phase would pass, and I pray I live to tell this tale to my kids when they are about to get married. Importantly, I have learnt that my boys should pick from a home and not a house with arrogant in-laws with the feeling of entitlement. And if you can avoid it, try not to marry a woman from a wealthy background, unless you can assure yourself of her humility.

Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family.

Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family. They say events come at you either as blessings or lessons. My marriage has been half of both. I...

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